Myths about People with Divergent Neurology and Their Lived Experience
Written by Guest Blogger, Chelsea Budde
I live in a neurodiverse household. While my husband and I are neurotypical (with more than a couple autistic characteristics that don’t quite reach that diagnostic threshold), we raised two children impacted by autism, ADHD, OCD, bi-polar disorder, synesthesia, and intellectual disability. (I am grateful for Justus and Noey’s permission to share our lived experiences.) What a fascinating journey it has been to learn alongside these humans who are now in their early 20s!
Back when they were going through various developmental screenings and diagnostic processes, I had some preconceived notions of what their newly-named neurological differences meant. When I heard “autism”, I thought “Rain Man”. When I heard “ADHD”, I thought “overdiagnosed”. When I heard “intellectual disability”, I thought “not capable of graduation”. None of those thoughts were helpful.
Since then, it’s been interesting to hear people’s responses to my children’s neurological differences.
Well, he’ll grow out of that, right?
Is she a savant?
He could do it yesterday. He’s choosing not to do it today.
He’s having a tantrum.
But she’s so social!
Let’s examine some of the more persistent misconceptions about autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent qualities.
Misconception: A child with autism can “overcome” it with the proper early intervention (or some unproven “remedy”).
I can’t tell you how many people, both familiar and unknown, came out of the woodwork particularly after my youngest was diagnosed with autism. Because neither the causal pathway to autistic neurology nor the diagnostic process is crystal clear, parents searching for answers in the year or two after their child is diagnosed are frequently met with questions like, “Have you tried __________?”
And even while my youngest’s second neuropsychological evaluation would not have turned out an autism diagnosis, it doesn’t mean their neurology was no longer autistic as it was when she was 3 years old. (Noey’s gender was assigned female at birth. Since they were 18 years old, they’ve identified as non-binary, preferring they/them pronouns.) We know that females are less likely to be diagnosed with autism than males, and that females are generally better social mimics. That means females are more apt to change their social behaviors to fit into predominantly neurotypical peer groups.
So by the time Noey was 13, they did indeed have some therapeutic interventions. They also learned some more “socially acceptable” behaviors from their peers. So they didn’t “present” as autistic.
People don’t “outgrow” autism. And suggesting it can be “overcome” stigmatizes its existence. Most everyone gets better at things over time. It’s no different for someone on the autism spectrum.
Myth: Everyone with autism has some aspect of savantism.
This misconception comes from conflating autism with savantism, or a form of prodigious talent. While half of savants are autistic, only around 10% of autistics are savants. Examples of savant skills include
memorization ability (dates, sports statistics, photographic, etc.)
calendar and/or numerical calculations
art
music
It just so happens that in my family, my youngest has some musical savant skills. From near perfect pitch in both vocal and instrumental performance to quick learning on a variety of instruments, Noey has another neurodivergence often associated with savants: synesthesia.
For synesthetes, senses combine in unexpected ways. Noey first noticed their synesthesia as seeing color when hearing music.
The takeaway is that each human’s neurological experience is unique and specific to them.
Misconception: Most autistics have below average intelligence.
We know that at least half of individuals on the autism spectrum have average or above average intelligence. Some neurotypical people equate the ability to speak verbally with intelligence, and certainly measures of intelligence rely heavily on spoken language. So while verbal processing may take longer for someone with autism, or the person might have to type to speak, that doesn’t make that person any less capable cognitively.
Good Friend, Inc. encourages everyone to presume competence whenever interacting with neurodivergent people. We also encourage educators to use principles of Universal Design for Learning, which can help to better measure skill and knowledge acquisition.
Misconception: An autistic person is “choosing” a behavior that leads to poor performance.
I have seen and heard more than a few negative words associated with my neurodivergent children’s academic and/or job performance. At the core, it seemed these teachers or managers believed they were deliberately underperforming, as they had borne witness to their prior mastery of a skill or successful completion of a required task.
Complaints have ranged from lazy or non-compliant to scatter-brained or disorganized.
As we point out during our staff in-services, using the Iceberg Model of autism will help you better understand what’s driving the behavior you see. If what you observe of an iceberg is only 10% of its overall structure, then you have to make yourself aware of the 90% that’s pushing that which you observe to the surface. What you can’t see includes
communication differences
learning/thinking/processing differences
social differences
sensory processing differences
restricted/repetitive patterns of behavior
rigid, inflexible thinking (whether of the autistic or non-autistic person)
So if what you see is perceived as inattention, perhaps that behavior is being driven by sensory overload. If what you see is perceived as disconnected from the prevailing emotion in a social interaction, perhaps you aren’t appreciating the way this individual expresses empathy.
I love the encouragement of this Maya Angelou quote: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” I have spent the last two decades endeavoring to know better as a parent so I can do better. I’m so glad Good Friend, Inc. is committed to this professional learning so we can transfer it to those we serve to create better understanding of autistic humans.